Freelancers have a unique work-life dynamic, so they need to ensure they don’t lose sight of that when they are entering a new relationship. Here are some tips to consider before you try out an online dating site
As most of us can agree, freelancing is an appealing lifestyle. It offers autonomy and the opportunity to pursue passions, especially with decades if career expertise under our belts. But what happens when you throw romance into the mix, particularly in the often-unpredictable world of online dating for over-50s?
James Rodgers, Head of Dating at over 50s dating site Senior Lovers, points out that this demographic needs to tread carefully. “Online dating comes with its own set of complications, from being ghosted to being catfished. However, online dating as an older person comes with a whole new set of concerns. As a more targeted and vulnerable age group, some of the risks of online dating even include fraud, stalking and sexual abuse.”
Well, if that isn’t enough to put anyone off…
For freelancers, the inherent uncertainties and demands of their work life can add another layer of complexity to the dating scene. The very flexibility that makes freelancing so attractive can also lead to unpredictable schedules, last-minute deadlines, and periods of intense focus that might clash with budding romances.
Setting expectations in a new romance: A two-way street
One of the most crucial aspects of dating as a freelancer is setting clear expectations, both for yourself and for any potential partners. Your work life is likely to be different from someone in traditional employment, and it’s important to communicate this openly.
“In the initial stages of finding a potential partner, you want to talk to them, get to know them and open up to them yourself to see if you’re a good match,” advises Rodgers. This initial communication is the perfect time to gently introduce the realities of your freelance life. Explain that while you value your free time, there might be occasions when work demands take precedence.
Conversely, it’s equally important to understand the expectations of the person you’re dating. Are they understanding of a flexible schedule, or do they expect more traditional availability? Open and honest conversations early on can prevent misunderstandings down the line. As Rodgers emphasises, “clear communication about what you are looking for from dating is important, so you know you are both on the same page, as well as discussing past relationships and your vision for the future. Not communicating about these things can lead to conflict and misunderstandings.”
Boundaries are your best friend
Just as freelancers need to establish boundaries with clients to maintain a healthy work-life balance, setting personal boundaries in the dating world is paramount, especially online. Rodgers stresses, “With online dating, it is vital you have your boundaries. Never be afraid to say no, and if someone makes you feel bad or uncomfortable for upholding these boundaries, they are not meant for you!”
For freelancers, this might extend to protecting your work time. While you might be tempted to squeeze in a date during a lull in your schedule, be mindful of overcommitting and potentially jeopardising deadlines. Similarly, be wary of partners who don’t respect your work boundaries, expecting constant availability or becoming demanding during your working hours.
Safety first, always
Beyond the practicalities of juggling work and dating, safety remains a top priority for over-50s seeking love and companionship in the online dating world. Rodgers provides invaluable advice: “‘Catfishing’, where a person online is pretending to be someone they are not, is more common than you think.” He advises looking out for bare profiles, low-quality photos, and being wary of those who consistently refuse video calls. “You could even request a video of them saying a specific thing to prove they are real.”
But with AI videos looking so realistic these days, even this can be tricky.
Protecting your personal information is also crucial. “Never share details about your bank cards and address. Keep personal information about your family and your specific routines to a minimum,” warns Rodgers. “Never give out your passwords, email, phone number or other social media accounts until you know this person well enough.”
When it comes to meeting in person, Rodgers strongly recommends choosing “a neutral and public place. Why not suggest a coffee at a café, lunch at a restaurant, a walk in a well-known park or shopping at the mall?” He also advises informing a trusted friend or family member about your date, including their profile details and your location.
Red flags
Rodgers also highlights several red flags to be aware of. These include someone declaring love too quickly, asking too many personal questions early on, insisting on keeping the relationship secret, asking for money, knowing things about you they shouldn’t, exhibiting controlling behaviour, or providing inconsistent information. “Things they tell you do not add up to their online profile or other things they have told you. This could be an indication they are lying to you for some reason.”
Embracing the journey
Dating as a freelancer over fifty might present unique challenges, but it also offers exciting possibilities for connection and companionship. By setting clear expectations, establishing firm boundaries, prioritising safety, and maintaining open communication, freelancers can date with confidence.
As James Rodgers concludes, “Online dating should be both safe and enjoyable for seniors looking to find companionship… Approach it with an open mind, realistic expectations, and clear communication about what you want… With the right precautions outlined here and a positive mindset, online dating can be a safe, fulfilling journey to new friendships and love.”
For those who might be joining the dating scene for the first time in years, consider the experience as an adventure. While not spilling your life story on the first date, you should be authentic. Your unique freelance lifestyle can be a part of what makes you interesting and an amazing catch.
Get the latest recruitment, money, lifestyle and career tips every week.
Sign up for FREE The Freelance Informer’s newsletter:
